This is why I don't collect cards anymore

Somewhere in a basement in Picton, there are binders full of hockey and baseball cards. Like 12,000 of them. Some of them are worth some money, some of them are useless and should be burned (I'm looking at you, David Volek). When I was collecting them some time ago, I was an "insert" chaser. Insert cards were called "chasers", and pulling one was pure joy. When I managed to be lucky enough to do so, I would immediately put them in a protective hard plastic holder and set up my bedroom as if it were my own sports card shop. My sister and foster brother were regular customers. Its been about a decade since I stopped collecting. My last hurrah as a sports card enthusiast was a trade show in Toronto. I spent the whole day hunting for all the Tom Barrasso and Dainius Zubrus cards I could find. Personal favourites. Well it seems the luster of collecting has slowed down, as have the profits for the big companies such as Upper Deck and Topps. So what do you do when times get tough? You mix it up. And holy sweet hell have card companies ever done that. The big "chase" card these days? Celebrity hair cards. It is exactly what it sounds like. Yes, you could own a strand of JFK, Babe Ruth, or even Abe Lincoln's precious hair. Don't believe me? Read for yourself!